Top Ten Tuesday: Titles That Will Make Me NOT Pick Up The Book

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Top Ten Tuesday: Titles That Will Make Me NOT Pick Up The Book

There aren’t a lot of things I will not read because of certain topics or phrases. I like to be open-minded about what I read. I even like me some erotica freebies now and then. I DO! No shame in my game. :P Sometimes though, the titles can get a little ridiculous and even I can’t bring myself to download them. The links will lead to the actual title available for download, so feel free to take a chance on them if you dare. ;) So here I have ten titles of erotica ebooks, where I’ve underlined the particular word in the title that made me uninterested…

Also, it must be said, I mean no offense to the authors of these books or anyone who’s read them. They’re just not my thing.

1. Heavenly Hole – There’s just something about the word Hole in the title that really turns me off…

2. Pearl Drops – This just sounds…unappetizing.

3. Lactation Erotica: Milk for Sir – No.

4. Unresolved Daddy Issues 1 – Apparently daddy issues need more than one volume.

5. Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun – No way ghouls can be sexy.

6. Santa‘s Daisy Chain – DO NOT bring Santa into this. Childhood ruined.

7. Wesley and the Sex Zombies – What?! What if they bite you! Do they not know how it works?

8. Aliens Bred Me In My Sleep – That sounds TERRIFYING! Who’d want that?!

9. Little Green Men, Big Green D… – BAHAHAH Sometimes they’re just too hilarious to take seriously.

10. Helpless for the Pastor – A pastor? Really?! Ew.




Jess @ Gone with the Words

57 Responses to “Top Ten Tuesday: Titles That Will Make Me NOT Pick Up The Book”

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    Bekka @ Pretty Deadly Reviews

    Hahaha this is hilarious. I too think it’s really weird to have zombies as love interests. They’re dead! That’s gross!

    Pretty Deadly Reviews

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    Really funny! As to #1, my daughter loves Scandinavian fiction but she doesn’t read Jo Nesbo’s series because he named his protagonist Harry Hole and she says every time she sees the name it just pulls her out of the book. She thinks Hairy Hole.

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    Bwaahaha! I was wondering what you’d pick, because like you…I’ll give most things a try. Crude erotica to be crude erotica was a great take on the topic. ;)

  4. Avatar

    Ula @ Blog of Erised

    Oh snap, these are really terrible! :O

    My TTT
    My DESIGNS blog

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    I was really, really hoping #3 wasn’t real…but alas, totally legit. I can’t believe that’s out there in the world LOL.

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    Amanda @ On a Book Bender

    *stares at this list* *tries not to admit I’ve read some*

    You’re right on #6, FYI.

    And lactation erotica is so a thing. Kelly and I read one with bigfoot. A bigfoot lactation erotica!

    Errr… Now I’ve admitted it, haven’t I?

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    LOL That is a great list, and by far the best I’ve seen this week.
    Don’t blame you about some of those titles. I don’t think they’re my cup of tea either – and I like erotica books!

    My TTT

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    Aliens Bred Me In My Sleep?!!! EWWWWWW that is in NO way sexy or anything. I am with you on this list, girl. They all sound…skeevy.

    Molli | Once Upon a Prologue

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    Heavenly Hole! That is the most ridiculous title. Seriously. And the other ones on this list. haha. You made me laugh, though. I love the gifs, too.

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    Ginger (@GReadsBooks)

    This is the best thing I’ve seen all day. Omg Jess! DYING. hahahaha
    #1. Hole?! really??
    #3. Lactating?! How is that sexy???
    #6. Santa is OLD & CREEPY & this is just NOT OK.

  11. Avatar

    Book Blather

    Yep, agreeing with ALL of these! lol. Especially the first and the last. Thanks for the smiles. Sort of wondering how any of these made it through a publishing house intact…

  12. Avatar

    Christina (BookTasty)

    OMG! Are those really titles?! You’ve got to be kidding me. Lactation Erotica?! GROSS. hahaha This list is so out of control I don’t quite know what to do with myself now *looks helplessly around room* Although the pastor one makes me laugh b/c my husband is a pastor…but its not like I went into it going “Oh yeah he’s gonna be a pastor…SEXXAY!” hahaha

  13. Avatar

    Audrey @ The Book Analyst

    Hahahahaha this is the best interpretation of this TTT ever. I feel like this list should be on Buzzfeed. You’ve just made a new follower out of me. :)

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    Leticia (@osoordinary)

    Laughing out loud over here! Woooowwww!!! That is a list of something there. hahahaha thanks for giving me a good laugh! I like that you stuck to one particular genre! great list of books to absolutely stay away from!! LOL!

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